Welcome to
Moose's Webpage!
moose@sanclementemoose.com
Learn about Wikileaks! The International Whistleblower website
http://www.wikileaks.cx/wiki/Wikileaks
Photo: Hubey 40 (the kid in the pic below on the left looking at me doing the Joker Jump)
size="+2">
Well, the election is over. Thanks to the 1624 people who voted for me! I am now on to my historic audio archive project, preserving the lectures of my former teachers. Anyone got an old 10 1/2 inch reel to reel tape recorder I can borrow for a few days? Both my Pioneer 909s are shot :( My 7 inch TEAC 4019s will work for most of the tapes.
About my music: Today (November 13, 2007) I made some changes to my a Prelude and Fugue for clarinet and piano, originally completed April 11, 2006. Basically I speeded up the tempo because I thought it was a little bit dreary with the slow tempo I had. The "fugue" portion begins at about 3:29, and the prelude is everything before that. Don't know what a fugue is? Well, even if you do, Canadian concert pianist Glen Gould (who played Bach Preludes and fugues very well), wrote one specifically to help explain what it is, or to be more precise, how to go about writing one "if you've got the nerve." It is called So you want to Write Fugue? and can be seen and heard by following my Youtube link above. Even if you don't normally listen to classical music, listen to first Glen Gould's fugue first, and then give a listen to my Prelude and Fugue. (Glen's is really quite entertaining. But he steals themes from Bach, whereas mine are original).
On the lighter side, I've written (a year late, as luck would have it) a Homage to Paul McCartney on his 64th Birthday. This music also doubles as Halloween spooky music, because it's really quite haunting-- yuk yuk.
I also wrote a string quartet a couple years ago. It is written in 5 movements, the first being by far the longest (about 7 1/2 minutes). the second and fourth movement are both scherzos, and the third is the slow movement. The fifth movement finale recounts the material of the preceding four (although all five are thematically interrelate) and has a fast, cheerful ending--- a little bit like Stravinsky's Dance Concertante.
Also, here is a short Prelude in A Major for Clarinet and Piano which I wrote a short time later and there is also a Concert Piece for Piano and Orchestra I started writing a bit earlier, and resumed working on in October. An even more recent work in progress is my Second Concert Piece
This
one I
did to commemorate this year's San
Clemente Street Festival. So,
if you're in the mood
for something happy and lively,
download my computer generated mp3. It's a little
under 5
megabytes in size.
Finally, there is a piece for brass and woodwinds I wrote the year before which I called the San Clemente Suite. It is in four movements, each with a suggestive title:
Casa Romantica
Foggy Night on the Pier
Sunday Farmer's Market on Del mar (another fugue here)
Wave Wars
This Site Sponsored by the following mostly new, upstart, surf companies, and non profit organizations:
Local San Clemente Chapter DAMM (Drunks Against Mad Mothers) in that area between Ralph's and the Freeway. Meetings at 9AM - Noon, Mondays. Start the week off right!
Kentucky
Fried Sleeze
It's not just greazzzy, it's sleazzzzy!
That's
right! We not
only do chicken right, we do our political enemies right too! Like
MOOSE! The nerve of this guy! We're a mere 2 years behind on our city
license and taxes, and he goes and rats on us to the city of San
Clemente. Our corporation gets suspended by the California Secretary
Secretary of State, and this goon goes and rats on us to to
the
California Board of Equalization! What an ungrateful jerk!
For
the last 3 years, this guy has been coming in, sometimes twice a day,
and getting a full 10%
discount on everything!
Think of it: he was able to
order $100 worth of chicken, and walk out with it for a mere $90 plus
tax (which we may or may not have paid to the State, hehe :)! And how
does he thank us? He thumbs his nose at us when we tell him we're
financially strapped, and he's going to have to pay more for his orders
for a while. He never spends another dime with us! It's not just greazzzy, it's sleazzzzy!
We want all our customers to know that we are a family run business and very family oriended. In fact, we go out of our way to accomodate families. Take for example, the high school kids that work for us. The State says they can only work 18 hours a week max, and no more than 3 hours on a weeksday night when school is in session. At the minimum wage we pay, that's only a lousy $24 bucks! So in the best interests of these kids, and their families, we insist that they work 6 hours-- even if they do have school the next day. That gets them $48 bucks! It's get's us cheap labor too!
Homework you ask? Don't they have to do homework? What kid does homework these days? And why should they? How to work long hours for little pay is about all today's High School kids need to learn. We teach them that, and teach it to them well! "Childhood Labor" Laws are long out of date and need to go, and we're leading the way!
As to MOOSE, we know how to handle him. We've reported to the local cops (who HATE Moose) how we caught him on our extra sneaky survelliance camera, pulling fast ones when paying, and how we caught him looking at disgusting stuff (like http://www.imadamnfag.com) on his notebook computer in or store. We'll show him! We've already gotten him 86'd from his favorite watering hole by telling the crew there about what this guy looks at on his computer! And this is just the beginning! This guy will NEVER be able to fight us in the gutter. Why? Because we built it, and it's on our property!
NEVERLAST
Making planned obsolesence an extreme sport
Making planned obsolesence an extreme sport
Bribes-R-US
A Washington D.C. lobbying firm
"America has the best politicians money can buy"A Washington D.C. lobbying firm
--- Will Rogers, in 1932
Whether it's a new law you need passed to enable you to better screw over your employees, or an old one repealed to prevent your customers from suing you, talk to us. When we snap, US Senators jump! You'd be surprised how cheaply these guys can be bought! You know this new Medicare drug deal that's really screwing over our senior citizens? We had a lot to do with it! Our clients, the drug companies, are making out like bandits! (Actually, that saying should be reversed--- bandits make out like our client drug companies, yuk yuk:)
Truth Industries Ltd.
We Manufacture Truth
...and we're damned good at too! We pile it
higher and deeper than anyone else in the business!
Let us handle your public relations issue, or run your political campaign.
Slowdo
For old guys that still want to show their stuff. (Yucch! Hehe! Hey, we're just in it for the money. And these shriveled up [who don't quite realize that they're all shriveled up] old guys got some bucks. OK?)
Enots Moclov
Did you know that Volcom Stone is just Enots Moclov spelled backwards? Wasn't it lame of those guys to just take our name and spell it backwards?
Get McSaved with McReligion!
Yes,
after years of
giving you junk food for the body, we're now branching out into ever
more exciting new markets! Like junk food for the soul!
Foulwell
and Pat Robertson, move over! We're going to show how this job of
peddling right wing fascist bull crap to the masses is really done!
Coming to your community soon. Look for the Golden Crosses!
McReligion is looking for local entrepreneurs
who want to help us "spread God's word"
(yeah, right, yuk yuk :). For every new sinner you
sign up, we'll cut you in on 10 % of their weekly
tidings! which we demand to be 20 % of their income!
So, do the math. Get 50 sinners to regularly attend
our local McChappel near you, and you won't have
to work anymore! It's easy! Just convince 50 of your
friends and neighbors that they're piles of dirt, and that
they need to be McSaved. Else, you tell them, they'll wind
up as McFries or Sinner McNuggets in hell's fast food restaurant,
in the next next life. What's that? McHell's! What else? (Hey, didn't
we say up front that we were ever expanding into new markets)?
Coming to your community soon. Look for the Golden Crosses!
McReligion is looking for local entrepreneurs
who want to help us "spread God's word"
(yeah, right, yuk yuk :). For every new sinner you
sign up, we'll cut you in on 10 % of their weekly
tidings! which we demand to be 20 % of their income!
So, do the math. Get 50 sinners to regularly attend
our local McChappel near you, and you won't have
to work anymore! It's easy! Just convince 50 of your
friends and neighbors that they're piles of dirt, and that
they need to be McSaved. Else, you tell them, they'll wind
up as McFries or Sinner McNuggets in hell's fast food restaurant,
in the next next life. What's that? McHell's! What else? (Hey, didn't
we say up front that we were ever expanding into new markets)?
~~Minus 420 Degrees~~
We're as chill as you can possibly get!
For
those smart asses who want to
get technical with us, saying -459 and not -420 is
not as chill as you can possibly
get, we're not talking Fahrenheit or Centigrade here. OK? We're talking
about the Moo Man temperature Scale! This scale makes much more sense.
Zero Degrees Moose (or, 0 deg M
for short) is the same thing as 77 degrees F--- not at all chill! In
fact, that's room temperature! But -420 deg M is absolute zero, the
point where all molecular activity stops. That's equivalent to -459
degrees Fahrenheit, -273.373 Centigrade, and 0 deg. Kelvin. Yeah, Moo
Man kno wut up! and
wut down! Get down wit da Moo man!
Team 840
We carry surfing to a higher level--- twice as high, to be exact!
No Chance
For when there's just no way around it.
You're going over the falls
Lake Minded
...for the realist in you, that knows it's been flat the entire month, and it's going to be the same for the next two or three
Elmley Factory Pilot
With Oakley, and now Elmley, what's next? Birchley?
Could it be that it's high time we got out of the trees?
...and maybe, into the bushes or something?
Hodads Rule!
Whether you live in Bakersfield, Simi Valley, or Butte Montana, now you too can be a surfer! All you have to do is buy our stuff, read and memorize the special Hodads Rule vocabulary cards that come with it, and pretend you surf! You'll be amazed how easy surfing can be.
Each item we sell comes with one of these little cards, each one telling you a few of the latest and coolest surfer words. But each card has different words. So the more of our shirts and shorts you buy, the better you'll be able to surf! Just to give you a preview of what we're talking about, and your ultimate goal, we'll give you free conversation between two real advanced surfers in San Clemente, one being named Moo Man, the other being a bro (surf talk for brother, or friend) of his named Rusty. Only, they're not speaking normal English here. They're speaking a very distant dialect of English called Moobonics. Moobonics is a language which is currently being studied very carefully at the Department of Linguistics at UCLA. They're a long way from figuring it out completely, but what they do know is that Moobonics is descended, at least in part, from two predecessor languages, Goofonics (the language spoken by the Gooff--- "Go Off" concatenated) and Bob Doleonics (The language spoken by Bob Dole in the 1988 presidential campaign--- remember how he always spoke of himself in the 3rd person?). Also, there appears to be a smidgen of Hawaiian Pidgin in it as well. Ready? Here we go!
Hae
Moo Man, wuh be up, Moo Man?
Nuch
R Man! How bou U, R Man? U B surf'n enee big waves l8lee, R Man?
Oh yah, Moo Man! Da R Man? U kno, he B surf'n mega big waves, all o'er world!
Kno sum'n else, Moo Man?
Moo Man only know wut U tell em, R man! Lay it on da ol Moo Man!
R Man say, 20 feet B small wave, n dat B too boring 4 da R Man!
Woe!!! Moo Man aways knew U B nuts, R Man! Dat be so chill!
20 foot wave 2 small 4 da R Man? Da B moosatious a'tude!
Cuza dat, Moo Man say, U B bro, R Man! U B full on Abzlute Zero Chill!
Oh yah, Moo Man! Da R Man? U kno, he B surf'n mega big waves, all o'er world!
Kno sum'n else, Moo Man?
Moo Man only know wut U tell em, R man! Lay it on da ol Moo Man!
R Man say, 20 feet B small wave, n dat B too boring 4 da R Man!
Woe!!! Moo Man aways knew U B nuts, R Man! Dat be so chill!
20 foot wave 2 small 4 da R Man? Da B moosatious a'tude!
Cuza dat, Moo Man say, U B bro, R Man! U B full on Abzlute Zero Chill!
R
Man say: U
B Bro too Moo Man! U B full on - 420 deegree Chill U self, Moo Man
R Man sa, Moo Man kno wut up! L8r bye, Moo Man!
La' bah, R Man! R Man kno Wut Up! R Man Rule da big wavz!
Pretty
advanced surf
talking
here! Don't
try it
yet yourself at home if you're just a beginning surfer, and
you've never surfed anything bigger than a 3-6 inch wave--- like in
your bath tub, or back yard inflatable swimming pool. More importantly,
if you've never even heard of the Moose Man, the R Man, his brother the
G Man, or if you haven't bought any of our stuff yet, take it easy just
for now. Just learn a few
easier
words first, which you can pick up by buying any of our latest Day Glo
T-shirts, or killer new tight fitting hot pink with black stripped
shorts. 30 or 40 shirts, and a dozen pair of shorts later, you'll be
surfing on the Fantasy 5 World Tour! Just like Leviticus Founder Vince
de la Colada!R Man sa, Moo Man kno wut up! L8r bye, Moo Man!
La' bah, R Man! R Man kno Wut Up! R Man Rule da big wavz!
Think
you got what
it
takes to be a part
of
Team Hodad? If
so,
email us at:
hodad@sanclementemoose.com
and
tell us about
the
biggest, most narly
wave
you've ever
imagined yourself riding
If
you've really
done
it, don't bother! We only
want
creative and
imaginative surfers
on Team Hodad!
Team Looped
We're
not just a little dizzy from all the 360s
we do.
We're totally
screw up! We drink, we smoke, we do drugs. We
were even abused as kids.
In short, we're total LOSERS!
Not only that, we're proud of
being the kind of losers we
are!
Think
you got what it takes to be a super mega loser, like us? Email us,
telling us how many times you've been arrested, how much time you've
spent in jail, and so forth. loser@sanclementemoose.com
Slowsilver
"Not so Quick there, short boarder! I'm older
than you, so I got seniority in this line up."
For those gray haired old guys that "rule"
the 1-3 foot waves at Sloheny State Beach
Quickgold
Making some fast cash. That's what we're all about! How do we do it? Easy. By selling low quality cheap stuff, (made with virtual slave labor in places like Costa Rica) at super high prices! Why do you pay these inflated prices? Because we got mega goon hot surfers and kook spongers body boarders on our team. We even got a More Shell Division (MSD)! So, get out of that hard core and out into the ozone with our new line of super tight fitting jeans, made just for you super slim and trim metro dudes!
Authentic
Industries
We're
not
Fake!
Fillabong
For Medicinal Use only
Void where prohibited by Federal Law
Found Surfboards
Thanks for not wearing a leash, Lost guys! We love your boards, hey hey! Can't knock 'em for the price! Keep em com'n!
Booty Love
(we're working on the logo, a booty with
a circle around it, maybe a heart shape)
"We Love our Booties, yours too.
So when you get out of the water, shake em really good, guys. You know you love showing off."
--- SQ U.S.A. ---
Squirrelly
International
"Just cuz we be a little nuts, dat don't necessary mean we be stupit, ignerent, err ill litterette. N' yeah, we be down wit da Moo man! Moo Man Kno wut up!"
Univocal Surf
Designs
(Established Circa 350 B.C. by Aristotle)
(Established Circa 350 B.C. by Aristotle)
There's
nothing Ambiguous
about "surfing:" You Hang 10 by putting your toes over the
nose of a Longboard, not by picking your
nose while
your other fingers "walk" a damn computer keyboard. No, you damned
computer Geeks! What you do aint
"surfing!"
There are no
barrels in cyber-
space! Got
it, Geek? Connect yourself with some other freek'n sport, like maybe
Lawn Bowling or Ping Pong. You metros do
like to "ping"
your servers, right?
Leviticus
Soul Brokers
An Executive Search Firm
SoulBrokers@sanclementemoose.com
00309 hits since September 20, 2009
size="+3">Fine. So
from now on,
you
can either ping
pong
or
lawn bowl the
Internet. You cannot surf
it. Else we'll jam your WiF channels.
Pictured
Above: Aristotle, the man
who first noted
important distinction between those Ambiguous kooks and the chill bros at Univocal
important distinction between those Ambiguous kooks and the chill bros at Univocal
Leviticus
Buy
our
overpriced junk, or
face God's wrath!
And remember: when
we make the trek from
Mission Viejo to your home break, those are our
promised
waves.God promised them to our corporate founder, Vince da la
Colada, when he made 16th, 17th (or whatever the hell he
thinks he did) on the Fantasy 5
World Tour. So when you see us drop in on you, you'd damn well better
kick out!
Also, be sure to vote Republican or we'll take you to the gates of the
city and stone you. No, we're not going to get
you stoned, we're gonna stone you!
Cuz we're Bible Freaks! God sez we're supposed
do that to sinners like you!
You think W responded too slowly to the Hurricane Katrine disaster? Stop complaining! Don't blame him! He's doing exactly what God is telling him to do! If you don't accept that, we'll get you declared an enemy combatant, and send you to Guantanamo! And you won't be riding any waves there!
Last but not least, no hanky panky on surf trips, either with chics or your surf bros. We don't care how drunk you get! The wages of sin is death, and our aim is to make sure that you pay, sooner rather than later. Beware the wrath of God!
You think W responded too slowly to the Hurricane Katrine disaster? Stop complaining! Don't blame him! He's doing exactly what God is telling him to do! If you don't accept that, we'll get you declared an enemy combatant, and send you to Guantanamo! And you won't be riding any waves there!
Last but not least, no hanky panky on surf trips, either with chics or your surf bros. We don't care how drunk you get! The wages of sin is death, and our aim is to make sure that you pay, sooner rather than later. Beware the wrath of God!
Soul Brokers
An Executive Search Firm
Already
sold your soul
to the system, and think you have no spiritual capital left? We're here
to prove that conclusion dead wrong! In fact, the more you've lied,
cheated,
embezzled, and stolen for your current employer, the more new,
prospective employers will be impressed, and the more they'll want you!
Why, you ask? Because that is exactly what they all want their
employees to
do
for them,
silly! You've seen the phrase "team player" in recruitment
ads, right? Just what did you think that meant? After hours
softball? Ha! Guess again! Many of the above "fine " (yukyuk) companies
use us to steal people away from their competitors. So if you're
looking to make a career move in the surf industry, contact us!
Send
your resume to:SoulBrokers@sanclementemoose.com
After reading my sponsor's messages, check out some
old pics taken at Luv Burger about 10 years ago. Can you
spot da R Man? Or his brother da G Man? or even da Moo Man?
Photo: Orion Gardner
The entire LBG Gang
